An open expression, to train the minds 

                                                                             - parenting is not a puzzle

During a recent field trip to interview few parents/guardians,  many looked at me as if I was a weird, insane man, who was accusing them of leaving mentally-challenged children untreated. Many yelled at me, shrieked with words, and made me feel like an individual with post-traumatic stress disorder. A few of them answered with patience, adding that they never knew it was important to focus on their kids' mental health. They thought their kids had escapism problems, wanting to avoid studies / homework, etc. 

Understand the minor,  be sensitive!

The world according to many is a place of 'tough competition'. Of course, it is!  Why shouldn't it be?  Every region or area has millions of people struggling to live.  Being popular, rich and having a lavish  lifestyle has become 'mandatory' today.  Every individual's focus is to make a fortune to fulfil his or her desires.  Where does this desire come from? - from the Internet? from Facebook updates? From looking at the filthy rich? Is it an internal force or external forces that bring the desire?  Does it come from the extended family? or society?  or from the neighbours or friends? Do we have an answer?  

Let us go back to the beginning - say 'Birth'!

A child is  born with nothing less than a unique force of joy, bringing light into many lives. The very first word you would hear is 'Congratulations'!  Happy to see you become a father/ mother/a grand parent etc., etc., and  etc.,  What's next?'  The spirited family and their rituals and what not; every possible predictions on the baby's future; 'assumptions' of having a 'doctor', an 'engineer' a government job holder at home ...... Wait! Wait! Wait!  The child is still an infant.    'Oh yes! It is ... There is so much competition in and around! My aunt's son is  a famous doctor,  my uncles daughter is a scientist, my great aunt's son will be an engineer soon, my cousin's son ............!'Oh Lord! Wow! What a world! Good to see parents  being very wishful about their child's career on the very first day.  I appreciate their concern , else the baby's future will be in great danger.  Every family has a welcome quote for the new borns, and today, it's based on what the child will be in the future (super predictions, with labels)!.

Day two - the proud mom-and-dad/grandparents when the boy/girl starts playing with gadgets!

The infants are born with technology as a handy tool to start using right way. Gadgets are the toys of the present and the future, feeding the minds of the next generation. Oh yes!  'My son  taught me the prior actions on this cellphone/tablet/laptop.' Well he did?  'My grandson is so active and knows most of the operations on this handphone.' Oh, he definitely does! 'He likes playing on it, watching YouTube (?), etc., etc.' - the proud family and their achievement! Have you ever questioned your kid on his/her mental health? Apart from feeling proud of your kid's scores in schools and friendly play on gadgets, did you ever find time to talk to your son/daughter on their problems ? Do you know what your kid goes through in school and among friends? Have your ever thought of your three mistakes which are affecting the innocent, sensitive mind? No?   

During a recent field trip to interview few parents/guardians,  many looked at me as if I was a weird, insane man, who was accusing them of leaving mentally-challenged children untreated. Many yelled at me, shrieked with words, and made me feel like an individual with post-traumatic stress disorder. A few of them answered with patience, adding that they never knew it was important to focus on their kids' mental health. They thought their kids had escapism problems, wanting to avoid studies / homework, etc. Though many parents spent time with their kids, they were obsessed with dressing them up lavishly, matching their shoes with dresses. Parents also gifted their children super-expensive iPads, phones, play-gadgets, etc., as a treat or a gift for scoring well in school assessments. All this made it clear that parents were setting up roots of a very dependent and lavish lifestyle in children. Many talked about their kids being happily involved in co-curricular  activities, sports which they felt happy about.  Few parents were bothered about their kids being not able to secure the first position in class, taking on a major stress themselves, leading them to punish and abuse the kids with words and what not! The only truth lies within children.  Overtime, few learn to express it, but many suppress it within themselves.  It's no wonder why many children  get frustrated of or irritated with their parents.

The website of the Centre  for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says:  "Mental health in childhood means reaching developmental and emotional milestones, and learning healthy social skills and how to cope when there are problems. Mentally healthy children have a positive quality of life and can function well at home, in school, and in their  communities." "Mental disorders among children are described as serious changes in the way children typically learn, behave, or handle their emotions, which cause distress and problems getting through the day.  Among the more common mental disorders that can be diagnosed in childhood are attention -deficit/ hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety and behavior disorders." (www.cdc.gov)

The risk factor from three major 'mistakes' - imposing restrictions, comparing, and appreciating others but your child

Do you know why kids get irritated with their parents or elders at home? Do you know why they like to hide or escape from  a social gathering?  They are hurt at many levels and are prone to getting addicted to unnecessary things to calm down their minds from fear! Well, there are common factors that we don't see or sense apart from their school work and scores.  Children are born intellectual, but overtime, they may lose some of their ability as they get introduced to different environments. It may be in school or at home, there are three things that kids don't like in general.  One is being restricted, second is being compared with people in parallel age groups or friends, and third, listening to their parents appreciate others on things they are never appreciated about. Start restricting them and they tend to learn escapism. They will learn to hide things from you, which will lead to a complicated relationship.  Comparison will definitely spoil kids minds, which will lead to a devastation.  The devastation may be physical, mental or material, but by the time you realise, they will have gone beyond your imagination. This will definitely spoil their education and social life. You may not always find it easy to appreciate your kids, but you will have to find ways to make them feel loved and appreciated. Appreciation from you will boost their internal force by  enhancing their courage and will power.  Avoid appreciating others for smaller achievements in front of your kinds, especially when you have never appreciated your kid for that. You never know, your own kid might be  an achiever in various activities which you may never have noticed.  Let their simple talk and innocence be well-received, even if you may find it silly or unanswerable.  The challenge lies in allowing them space to question and learn things - the way it should be. A friendly gesture by parents and their beloveds will enhance the creativity of children.   It's not what is being taught in schools or by teachers, but in an homely atmosphere, that is most important.  Allow their minds to express and explore the possibilities!